Regarding severity, A "5" means I walked like a pirate for a week; a "3" means walked like a pirate for a few days or less; and a "2" means I could walk normally, but athletic performance was compromised.
Generally, I would say the average person sprains their ankle doing something spectacular (Coolness 5 and up); but I'm not average. Even my punt return at 15 involved me making a last minute decision to pick up a ball that I should have just let come to rest... but I panicked. I probably should make it a Coolness 4 for that very reason, but I won't so that I can preserve my self esteem.
1st: 15 years old... piled-on during a punt return
Coolness: 5 Severity: 4
2nd: 16 years old... stepping off couch at home
Coolness: 0 Severity: 2
3rd: 18 years old... playing basketball in "intramural" tournament
Coolness: 4 Severity: 5
4th: 19 years old... stepping off step in dorms
Coolness: 0 Severity: 2
5th: 20 years old... hopping over a ditch as a tourist in Yellowstone... off pavement
Coolness: -1 Severity: 5
6th: 22 years old... stepping off of climbing wall... STEPPING, not even falling!
Coolness: 1 Severity: 5
7th: 24 years old... longboarding at really slow speeds in the dark.
Coolness: 2 Severity: 3
8th: 27 years old... running off the top of Baldy Mountain... numb, cold legs
Coolness: 5 Severity: 4
9th: 28 years old... 50 yards from trailhead after running 5th highest point in MT
Coolness: 3 (50 yards? Really?) Severity: 3
10th: 28 years old... fell in TINY hole while running... 0.4 miles from house
Coolness: 2 Severity: 2
11th: 28 years old... alone in empty hallway at school... FLAT and ALONE.
Coolness: -1 Severity: 2
Sprain #5 takes the cake as the most ridiculous situation, especially given that I was in severe pain for the remainder of the vacation. Thankfully sprain #11 wasn't very serious, but I was forced to flop on the floor right in front of the girls restroom at school to defend against a more vicious sprain.
What can we learn?
- Given the coolness rating average of just about 1.5... I think its safe to assume that I'm a complete dork.
- Online sprain rehab states that foot proprioception is the secret cure. Apparently I need to spend more time standing around in the dark on one leg.
